Vyshnoo
tu me manques
She sat in her room, with tears rolling down her face. She isn’t frail as you believe.
She has just been so vehement all this while, with all the hurt swelling up within her soul and today she couldn’t keep it in any longer.
She was banging her fists to the bathroom floor. Her long nails lacerated her feet and neck to bleed. It wasn’t blood that was flowing. It was pain that was vanishing away from her broken heart.
She unclouded all the pain from the heart but was oblivious to the mind.
She plucked her hair. She wasn’t self harming because of him, but because of the Cupid’s wrong aim. She sat there with her dizzy head and with the lost gleam in her eyes and shadows in her soul.
She screamed louder than the high school bell. Like how they screamed with joy on the last day before summer, but this had pain and fear. She wasn’t trying to ruin her voice. She wanted to shed away those voice remnants she sang for him. Those words with which she used to call him, were now the last time she said them. ‘Baby’, ‘Sweetheart’, ‘Darling’ and his name. Her larynx echoed with pain. But that didn’t matter to her.
She ripped off her clothes. No, she wasn’t shaming herself. She wanted to get ridden of his touch with which he clenched that top to remove it.
Her lips chapped.
Her breast washed off with tears.
Her thighs pinched.
Her elbows were bruised.
Her hymen was broke.
Her whole body had marks.
She was scarred.
She was breathless.
She was clearing her whole body of pain to clean off the memories they had.
She thought that she was successful after the whole cleanup process next morning.
But, she woke up with the last night bruises on her skin. She realized that morning that she won’t lose the marks and won’t receive messages from him anymore.
Every night he haunted her and she remembered that she didn’t clean off the dust and cobwebs in the dark spaces of her heart.
There was always that part inside her that wanted him back, but all that part did was haunt her.